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Australia's Population Falls to Record Low 145 People – 2016 Census Figures

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Home / Perth News / Breaking News / Australia's Population Falls to Record Low 145 People – 2016 Census Figures

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Australia's Population Falls to Record Low 145 People – 2016 Census Figures

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Australia’s Population Falls to new low, according to the latest 2016 Census data

(Parody)

Australia’s population has fallen to a low not seen for over 40,000 years, with just 145 people recorded as being in the country on the evening of August 9, 2016.

Heres’s the key statistics:

Australia’s median weekly salary is a record high $2.186 million – with several households in Perth’s ‘Golden Triangle’ reporting in on Census night. Other related figures showed up to 4.8% of Australians have the surname Forrest or Rinehart.

Billions of dollars in government resources are today being allocated to the Sydney suburb of Point Piper, with the Turnbull family successfully indicating to the ABS two people lived in the suburb, or 1.5% of Australia’s population.

We filled in the @ABSCensus tonight online – v easy to do. And so important for planning better Govt services & investment for the future

— Malcolm Turnbull (@TurnbullMalcolm) August 9, 2016

Western Australia’s new capital will be Rottnest Island, with 4 high-paid public servants holidaying on the Island, set to create a new seat of government there for the State. The Rottnest Islanders had filled their census forms in the previous week; they will not be returning to the mainland, due to lack of people to delegate to. Quokkas will now be asked to fill key positions of government.

WA Nationals Leader Brendon Grylls new plan to tax BHP and Rio 5% on iron ore is no more, with Port Hedland, Newman and surrounds all taken off the map by Geoscience Australia, following the null figures from those areas in the ABS Census.

The once thriving city of Adelaide is no more. Exactly zero people appear to live in the South Australian city, according to last nights census records. It’s unlikely anyone would notice, Australia’s government told Reuters.

Sources in Canberra told Bloomberg News, the Prime Ministers office had been consulting producers of the CBS TV show “The 4400” for explanations as to where the rest of Australia’s 23,999,865 people had gone.

More news as we get it.