Let me just start by owning the fact that I am not a circus parent.

Likewise, I’m not a theme park parent or a zoo parent. The only time I’m a park parent is when there’s a coffee van and/or picnic with wine.

So. Cirque Du Soleil. For me, it’s always come under the assumed banner of ‘expensive circus’.

Circuses mean smelly animals, clowns without irony (because the only funny clown is one with a healthy sense of irony), and painful whining for more – more rides, more merchandise, more food, more drinks.

All of this, but more sophisticated and fancy – because it’s French.

Despite my wary scepticism, I’d spent the past week utilising our upcoming visit to Cirque Du Soleil’s Totem as parenting bribery. It had been a peaceful week of well-behaved children and family bliss.

Which is why I was, truth be told, a little sad on approaching the big top on Saturday afternoon.

See Also: Behind the Scenes at TOTEM Perth

Every step nearer signaled a step closer to a return to scrambling for a new bargaining tool to ensure peace and order and vegetable consumption reigned supreme in our own domestic big top / home.

Stiff upper lip, we entered.

Of course, the kids immediately went a little nuts.

There was some squealing (me, upon viewing the multiple bars).

And that’s pretty much when I realised that I’d been getting my imagined circus scenarios all wrong.

No musty straw smell. No carnival games requiring the sale of a kidney to allow all three kids a decent shot at a 20 cent prize.

It was positively…magical and civilised!

We were lucky enough to be seated a few rows from the front, dead centre.

The kids speculated over what the colourful orb-like shape was on stage, as we semi-patiently waited for the show to start, in between panic dashes to the toilet for the second, third and fourth time (because they never ever need to go in unison…).

Comedic characters wandered through the crowds as everyone was being seated. They were blessed with irony, and did not wear red noses, curly blue wigs and oversized shoes.

See Also: 14 Reasons Why Everyone in Perth Has to See ‘Cirque du Soleil – TOTEM’

The characters were so good, in fact, that I even let the kids eat FLOOR POPCORN – courtesy of a hilarious caveman routine that took place in the aisle right next to our seats.

And here’s where this review gets tough.

I’m the first to offer up a million words where a dozen would suffice. But I simply don’t have the right words to do Cirque Du Soleil’s Totem justice.

Here’s a few that I’ve come up with after hours of racking my brain:

Wow
Amazing
Awesome
Abs (so many abs….)
Nailed it
No way! Shut up! (totally appropriate response to a man hanging from a swinging rope by his HEEL and dangling a woman from his THUMB, while spinning around in circles fast enough to make me reconsider the addition of popcorn to my wine).

And some more words that describe the amazing costumes and special effects. Those words too.

The kids, they managed slightly more poetic quotes:

Miss6, on the hula hoop routine:
“Oh look Mum, they’re doing music with science! That is sooo clever!”

Mstr6, on the way home, when asked what he thought of Totem:
“On the next weekend in this world can we go to the circus again so I can take Goggy and I have 10 cents to pay for him.”

Not poor grammar on my part. It was one long, excited statement.

For your reference, Goggy is his beloved stuffed BFF, and only taken out in public for very special occasions. The whole 10 cents thing is just an example of how his tight parents have educated him to think that receiving 10 cents pocket money is a fortune – and considering how often he loses his 10 cents (and then receives it again the following week, heh), it would take his entire savings to pay for the both of them to go. Clearly, he thinks Totem is worth it.

Miss9 let me down, simply offering up an eye roll and a “totally awesome!” between mouthfuls of fairy floss. Either way, to have her silent and happy for 2 hours without the assistance of an electronic device, proves Totem’s ability to entertain and engage a 9-going-on-29 year old.

Keeping the sports loving husband quiet and entertained was the most impressive. Normally, when dragged away from his man cave of a weekend, he frequently updates me on what match he’s missing at any given time. He didn’t once whine about the very important, critical sporting event that he was missing on TV. Nor did he attempt to sneak off to the racecourse across the car park. Nailed it, Cirque Du Soleil Totem, nailed it.

For my part, I absolutely loved it.

Final Verdict

I admit, I have previously looked into other Cirque Du Soleil shows, and been surprised by the ticket prices. But that was because I was expecting your average circus. What you get from Totem is so much more than that. It’s a magical performance, full of skill, amazing special effects and costumes, peppered with humour – thoroughly entertaining value for money for the whole family.

Yes, I called it – value for money entertainment for the whole family.

Failing Googling lots of impressive words for ‘wow’ and ‘amazing’, that really does sum it up.

I wouldn’t hesitate booking the family in to another Cirque Du Soleil performance – definitely at the earliest pre-sales, so that I have maximum parenting bribery in the lead up.

<h3>A fascinating journey into the evolution of mankind</h3>
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